Typical british
Typical british

I'm English so:


  • I do not speak any other foreign language (all silly bloody foreigners should learn english).
  • I Invade foreign countries and steal all their stuff to put in my museums.
  • I behave like a barbarian from an invading horde when going on holiday.
  • I speak in a hugh grant style upper class accent and say "gosh" a lot.
  • I am incredibly polite and never offend anyone
  • I throw chairs at police and be a football hooligan
  • I have a stiff upper lip and I am used to being very formal with peopl.
  • I make jokes and laugh about absolutely everything and I never take anything seriously.
  • I understand sarcasm and use it as a merciless weapon with which to beat people who don't understand it with, especially some of our cousins across the pond.
  • I do whatever our "big brother" USA say: "yes George", "no George" and now: "yes Barack", "no Barack"...
  • I have invented most sports in the world but I am useless at most of them.
  • I am Having tea with the queen every saturday at 5,00.
  • I am talking about the weather ALL the time.
  • I live in the most multicultural city in the world in london and I get on well with everyone.
  • I am not even able to live with the scrooge scots, the idiot welsh on our island and do not even mention the smelly french or bloody germans.
  • I am modest, I dislike show offs and always use understatements. e.g. saying: "its raining slightly outside", when in reality a reincarnated Noah is frantically building a new ark to try and save at least some of the world population from drowning.
  • I say silly things such as "hello old boy".


British women:

British Women fit into three catagories: 'Ugliest Women in the World' (75%); 'The Most Beautiful Women in the World' (12%); and men dressed as woman (3%)... there is no middle ground. Most other women tend to be jealous of the class and appearance of the British female and it has to be said - who can blame them? The famous ones look like Keira Knightley, Kate Winslet, Rachel Weisz, Kate Beckinsale, Emma Watson, and Helena Bonham Carter, so it is no surprise that men worldwide are salivating over the opportunity to meet them. Unfortunately, most look like Jade Goody on a bad day or Margaret Thatcher, so care is best exercised when dating via the interwebs, or retirement homes. Or graves.


Commenti: 3
  • #3

    Tom (domenica, 20 dicembre 2015 23:14)

    75, 12 and 3 = 90%.. Bloody italians can't do maths

  • #2

    Davide (mercoledì, 11 febbraio 2015 19:45)

    England, if you want to know, all these stereotypes were written by English people who were sarcastic about themselves.
    Take it easy man

  • #1

    ENGLAND (mercoledì, 11 febbraio 2015 16:00)

    You're a fucking rude cunt with no respect for us at all. You STEAL OUR words and add the letter 'o' to it. How original.



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